According to history of
not-so-great human kind, God first created a human species with a male genital
organ and left him in a park. Poor bastard did his own naming ceremony among
plants, leaves and other animals if existed and named himself as Adam, the one.
Adam, as a lone existent
in that park, for a few days he played with himself and after with others.
After some days, he got to know that something is missing in his life. So he
invited trouble to his life by creating a female species from his rib and named
her Eve.
So, Adam and Eve are
the only immortal human beings on this earth. Adam after seeing the beauty of
Eve fell for her but kept some distance from her.
After a few days, Eve realized
that she needs some1 to show her tantrums and her hormonal variations. So,
slowly they started friendship, shared their food and the crude humor. This
dude realized that he will be friend-zoned for sure if he goes like this with
her. And, he expressed his love towards her. She didnt slapped him, instead,
seeing his dedication and fairness and his hard work for getting out of fucking
best-friend-ever-zone she said yes to him.
Love life started for
them.
Like all the fluffy
lovers, they too started their love phase and are enjoying the most without
regret.
After seeing them one
bad ass villain, a serpent had some wild plans with both of them. This bad ass
guy literally hates the God and was waiting for the opportunity to knock them
down.
In the Eden garden,
where they lived, one tree existed and it gives most beautiful and sweetest
fruits. God forbid them from the tree and warned both Adam and Eve that 'don’t
ever try to taste that fruit until and unless you want to screw up your life'.
They obeyed him saying 'i accept the terms'. Serpent knows about these terms
and wants to persuade them to taste the fruit.
There was a time may be
after(100's of years), Eve felt something was missing from the relation with
Adam. Her female instinct went so far and was thinking in every possible way of
their relation. She started being paranoid. She was worried that her perfectly molded
figure was out of shape and was concerning Adam. Bloated with all the thoughts,
she sat under a tree and was taking a joint.
Considering it was a
right moment, serpent entered into the frame and was being very polite, and was
trying to-be-a-good-guy type with Eve. She too felt that he is good-guy-to-tag
along and started sharing him her thoughts.
This cunning serpent
now told Eve "Babe, Do not worry about him much. You need to take care of
yourself. See how tired you look. You need to eat something. Saying this, serpent
pointed out the fruit from the God forbid tree and told Eve that, you will
regain the lost glow in you after eating that fruit. She reminded serpent about
the terms of God, but serpent replied that "God must be kidding with you.
Nature is meant to be embraced. You just go and eat a fruit you will find the
difference later". Hearing this, Eve plucked a fruit and had a bite. She
found that it is the sweetest fruit she ever had and want to impress Adam by
taking a fruit to him.
Adam too sat on the
tree and was lost in thoughts. Meanwhile Eve came and sat beside Adam. What’s
up babe? Adam replied with ' Nothing babe? I was just wondering what happened
to our relation these days and am thinking of how to make get those good days
back.
Oh Adam!!.That’s so sweet.
What was that in your
hand Eve? Oh. Yes, have a bite of this most delicious fruit. Adam reminded
about the Gods warning of "dont eat the fruits of that tree" and
asked Eve. What have you done babe? Dont you remember God warned us and how
could you do that? Eve told Adam that dont worry about that. Nothing will
happen. God is a good guy. I will handle him, saying this she gave a lip lock
to him and handed the fruit. Adam ate the fruit and felt awesome (of course the
combination).
God after seeing their
acts, came to garden and asked Adam. Adam with fear told Eve made him ate that
and then he turned to Eve. Eve kept an innocent face and blamed it on serpent.
God got angry and
cursed both of them for not listening to his words and took the eternal life
from them. This dumb couple got thunder struck after listening to Gods words
and felt devastated knowing that their skin will start age and their life forms
will end in time. So they thought of fucking up the nature and earth by
creating humans and started to reproduce.
That’s how all the dumb
bitches and bad-ass-fuckers came to earth.
