Adam, Eve and the Serpent

 According to history of not-so-great human kind, God first created a human species with a male genital organ and left him in a park. Poor bastard did his own naming ceremony among plants, leaves and other animals if existed and named himself as Adam, the one.

Adam, as a lone existent in that park, for a few days he played with himself and after with others. After some days, he got to know that something is missing in his life. So he invited trouble to his life by creating a female species from his rib and named her Eve.

So, Adam and Eve are the only immortal human beings on this earth. Adam after seeing the beauty of Eve fell for her but kept some distance from her.

After a few days, Eve realized that she needs some1 to show her tantrums and her hormonal variations. So, slowly they started friendship, shared their food and the crude humor. This dude realized that he will be friend-zoned for sure if he goes like this with her. And, he expressed his love towards her. She didnt slapped him, instead, seeing his dedication and fairness and his hard work for getting out of fucking best-friend-ever-zone she said yes to him.

Love life started for them.

Like all the fluffy lovers, they too started their love phase and are enjoying the most without regret.

After seeing them one bad ass villain, a serpent had some wild plans with both of them. This bad ass guy literally hates the God and was waiting for the opportunity to knock them down.

In the Eden garden, where they lived, one tree existed and it gives most beautiful and sweetest fruits. God forbid them from the tree and warned both Adam and Eve that 'don’t ever try to taste that fruit until and unless you want to screw up your life'. They obeyed him saying 'i accept the terms'. Serpent knows about these terms and wants to persuade them to taste the fruit.

There was a time may be after(100's of years), Eve felt something was missing from the relation with Adam. Her female instinct went so far and was thinking in every possible way of their relation. She started being paranoid. She was worried that her perfectly molded figure was out of shape and was concerning Adam. Bloated with all the thoughts, she sat under a tree and was taking a joint.

Considering it was a right moment, serpent entered into the frame and was being very polite, and was trying to-be-a-good-guy type with Eve. She too felt that he is good-guy-to-tag along and started sharing him her thoughts.

This cunning serpent now told Eve "Babe, Do not worry about him much. You need to take care of yourself. See how tired you look. You need to eat something. Saying this, serpent pointed out the fruit from the God forbid tree and told Eve that, you will regain the lost glow in you after eating that fruit. She reminded serpent about the terms of God, but serpent replied that "God must be kidding with you. Nature is meant to be embraced. You just go and eat a fruit you will find the difference later". Hearing this, Eve plucked a fruit and had a bite. She found that it is the sweetest fruit she ever had and want to impress Adam by taking a fruit to him.

Adam too sat on the tree and was lost in thoughts. Meanwhile Eve came and sat beside Adam. What’s up babe? Adam replied with ' Nothing babe? I was just wondering what happened to our relation these days and am thinking of how to make get those good days back.

Oh Adam!!.That’s so sweet.

What was that in your hand Eve? Oh. Yes, have a bite of this most delicious fruit. Adam reminded about the Gods warning of "dont eat the fruits of that tree" and asked Eve. What have you done babe? Dont you remember God warned us and how could you do that? Eve told Adam that dont worry about that. Nothing will happen. God is a good guy. I will handle him, saying this she gave a lip lock to him and handed the fruit. Adam ate the fruit and felt awesome (of course the combination).

God after seeing their acts, came to garden and asked Adam. Adam with fear told Eve made him ate that and then he turned to Eve. Eve kept an innocent face and blamed it on serpent.

God got angry and cursed both of them for not listening to his words and took the eternal life from them. This dumb couple got thunder struck after listening to Gods words and felt devastated knowing that their skin will start age and their life forms will end in time. So they thought of fucking up the nature and earth by creating humans and started to reproduce.

That’s how all the dumb bitches and bad-ass-fuckers came to earth.